Dear Readers,
We do hereby undertake to summarize, abridge, shorten, and briefly explicate the plot of a variety of books, stories, &c., with no standard of political correctness or accuracy, and insodoing exclude ourselves from all legal consequences ensuing from offended subscribers or viewers.
(If you don't like us, stop reading our blog.)
WARNING:
The probability that you do not like us increases exponentially as your viewpoint changes from ours.
Now, let it commence.